August 26, 2009
Issue 137
Welcome to this issue of the Denis Waitley International online newsletter! My goal is to offer valuable, relevant, leading-edge and interesting content, with some innovative and refreshing differences from the other e-zines and newsletters you may receive.
Warm regards,
Denis Waitley
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Many Thanks!
1. This Week's Jump-Start
2. The Champion Within Article
3. Seeds of Greatness
4. The Winner's Edge Coaching Tips
5. Christmas in August!
6. More Information
In a way, human beings behave like bees. If you place several bees in an open-ended bottle and lay the bottle on its side with the base toward a light source, the bees will repeatedly fly to the bottle bottom toward the light. It never occurs to them to reverse gears and try another direction. This is a combination of genetic programming and learned behavior.
Put a bunch of flies in that bottle and turn the base toward a bright light. Within a few minutes, all the flies will have found their way out. They try all directions—up, down, toward the light, away from the light, often bumping into the glass—but sooner or later they flutter forth into the neck of the bottle and out the opening.
We often allow ourselves to become locked in our present circumstances—even if we are unhappy and really want to be reaching in a new direction. What we’re doing may make us miserable, but at least it’s familiar. One of the most important factors in achieving personal success is the willingness to try things out, to experiment, to test new ground. In fact, this is the only way to learn and progress: trial, error, feedback, knowledge, trial and success. It is a far better thing to try to succeed and fail, than to do nothing and succeed.
This week:
* Try it
* Change it
* Do it
Stop stewing and start doing!
-- Denis Waitley
Perfectionists are often great procrastinators. Having stalled until the last minutes, they tear into a project with dust flying and complaints about insufficient time. Perfectionist-procrastinators are masters of the excuse that short notice kept them from doing the quality job they could have done.
But that’s hardly the only variety of procrastination—which is one of my own favorite hiding places when I try to blame external conditions instead of myself for some difficulty. Mine comes with a gnawing feeling of being fatigued, always behind. I try to tell myself that I’m taking it easy and gathering my energies for a big new push, but procrastination differs markedly from genuine relaxation—which is truly needed. And it saves me no time or energy. On the contrary, it drains both, leaving me with self-doubt on top of self-delusion.
We’re all very busy. Every day we seem to have a giant to-do list of people to see, projects to complete, e-mails to read, e-mails to write. We have calls to answer and calls to make, then more calls to people with whom we keep playing voice-mail tag.
Henri Nouwen’s classic book Making All Things New likens our lives to “overstuffed suitcases that are bursting at the seams.”
Feeling there is forever far too much to do, we say we’re really under the gun this week. But working hard or even heroically to solve a problem is little to our credit if we created the problem in the first place. When most people refer to themselves as being under the gun, they want to believe, or do believe, that the pressures and problems are not of their own making. In most cases, however, the gun appeared after failure to attend to business in good time. Instead of being proactive early, they procrastinated until the due date became a crisis deadline.
By the Inch Life’s a Cinch, by the Yard It’s Hard
One of the best escapes from the prison of procrastination is to take even the smallest steps toward your goals. People usually procrastinate because of fear and lack of self-confidence and, ironically, become even more afraid when under the gun. There are many ways to experiment and test new ground without risking the whole ball game on one play.
Experience has shown that when people go after one big goal at once, they invariably fail. If you had to swallow a 12-ounce steak all at once, you’d choke. You have to cut the steak into small pieces, eating one bite at a time. So it is with prioritizing. Proactive goal achievement means taking every project and cutting it up into bite-sized pieces. Each small task or requirement on the way to the ultimate goal becomes a mini-goal in itself. Using this method, the goal becomes manageable. When mini-mistakes are made, they are easy to correct. And with the achievement of each mini-goal, you receive reinforcement and motivation in the form of positive feedback. As basic as this sounds, much frustration and failure is caused when people try to “bite off more than they can chew” by taking on assignments with limited resources and impossible timeline expectations.
Two major fears that sire procrastination are fear of the unknown and fear of rejection or looking foolish. A third fear—of success—is often overlooked. Many people, even many executives, fear success because it carries added responsibility that can seem too heavy to bear, such as setting an example of excellence that calls for additional effort and willingness to take risks. Success, without adequate self-esteem or the belief that it is deserved, also can create feelings of guilt and the result is only temporary or fleeting high achievement. Playing it safe can seem more tempting than a need to step forward with determination to do it now and do it right.
In the next issue, I’ll give you 10 ideas to help you move from procrastination to proactivation!
-- Denis Waitley
You don’t need to flip through catalogs of knickknacks and fruit baskets this year. Get the perfect holiday gifts for clients and business associates right now and save yourself the last-minute worries! Check out these special gift items now!
You may know me.
I’m your constant companion.
I’m your greatest helper; I’m your heaviest burden
I will push you onward or drag you down to failure.
I am at your command.
Half the tasks you do might as well be turned over to me. I’m able to do them quickly, and I’m able to do them the same every time,
If that’s what you want.
I’m easily managed; all you’ve got to do is be firm with me.
Show me exactly how you want it done; after a few lessons I’ll do it automatically.
I am the servant of all great men and women; of course,
I’m the servant of all the failures as well.
I’ve made all the winners who have ever lived.
And, I’ve made all the losers too.
But I work with all the precision of a marvelous computer
With the intelligence of a human being.
You may run me for profit, or you may run me to ruin;
It makes no difference to me.
Take me. Be easy with me, and I will destroy you.
Be firm with me, and I’ll put the world at your feet.
Who am I?
I’m Habit!
-- Denis Waitley
Welcome to the last installment of our current coaching topic. We cannot teach our children self-esteem; we can only help them discover it within themselves by adding positive marks and strokes on their slates. All positive motivation is rooted in self-esteem—the development of which, just as with other skills, takes practice. We are looking at self-esteem as a four-legged chair. Last issue we covered the third leg of the “Self-esteem” chair—a sense of worthiness. The last leg is: A Sense of Control and Competence.
Early in my career in motivational psychology, I thought the chair of self-esteem balanced firmly on those three legs—A Sense of Belonging, A Sense of Individual Identity and A Sense of Worthiness—especially since they involved intrinsic core values. It took much time and research to realize that a fourth leg—one of the most important—was missing.
There are many reasons why few Americans currently in high school and college believe they were born to win. The supportive extended family—in many cases, even the nuclear family—is disappearing. Role models are increasingly unhealthy. The commercial media bombards young senses ever more insistently with crime, violence, hedonism and other unhealthy forms of escape. But whatever the explanation, constructive citizens and leaders in society cannot emerge and develop without the creative imagination that serves them like fuel—which is why the apprehension, frustration and hesitation I see and hear in the younger generation is cause for concern. At the moment, the future they imagine will help drive neither happiness nor success.
The chair’s fourth leg is self-efficacy, a functional belief in your ability to control what happens to you in a changing, uncertain world. A sense of worthiness may give you the emotional means to venture, but you need self-efficacy, the sense of competence and control, to believe you can succeed. That’s why it is so important to assign responsibility for small tasks to your children as early as possible so they can learn that their choices and efforts result in consequences and successes. The more success they experience, the stronger their confidence grows—and the more responsibility they want to assume.
Give them specific household chores and duties they can accomplish and be proud of. Teach them that their problems and setbacks are just temporary inconveniences and learning experiences. Emphasize it constantly: Setbacks are not failures.
Armed with a view of failure as a learning experience, children can develop an early eagerness for new challenges and will be less afraid to try new skills. Although they appreciate compliments, they benefit most from their own belief that they are making a valuable contribution to life, according to their own internal standards.
In an increasingly competitive global marketplace, each new, young member of the workforce simply must believe that he or she is a team leader, a self-empowered, quality individual who expresses that quality in excellent production and service. With increasing pressures on profit and the need to do more with fewer workers because of e-commerce and changing technology, it is essential that parents and business leaders help raise the value of their children’s and employees’ stock in themselves.
-- Denis Waitley
It’s never too early to fill your holiday gift list! About this time of year, business owners and corporate managers (not to mention household managers!) begin planning what they’ll give as gifts to their valued employees or best clients. So, they begin flipping through catalogs of knickknacks and fruit baskets.
Well, this year can be different for you! When it comes to holiday cards and gifts for business associates or extended family, I’ve seen a trend in recent years. One that I’m very flattered by.
People are sending my Excerpts from The Seeds of Greatness Treasury booklet with their holiday cards, passing them out during the season instead of business cards or even using them as stocking stuffers.
What a great idea, especially for passing on the positive feeling and heartfelt inspiration associated with the season!
With that in mind, I’d like to recommend not only my booklet but other inspirational gift booklets and beautifully made gift books from some of the top names in personal achievement:
Jim Rohn • Napoleon Hill • John C. Maxwell • Chris Widener
Stedman Graham • Brian Tracy • Jeff Olson • Zig Ziglar and more!
These items are perfect for business or personal use as awards, rewards or for any gift-giving occasion.
Generous quantity discounts are available, so you can fill all your gift-giving needs quickly and conveniently!
Check out these special gift items now.
You don’t need to flip through catalogs of knickknacks and fruit baskets this year. Get the perfect holiday gifts for clients and business associates right now and save yourself the last-minute worries! Order these special gift items now!Order by phone at 877-929-0439.
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