July 19, 2006
Issue
65
Welcome!
To this issue of the Denis Waitley International online
newsletter. My goal is to offer valuable, relevant, leading
edge, and interesting content, with some innovative and
refreshing differences from the other ezines and newsletters
you may be receiving.
Warm regards,
Denis Waitley
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In This Issue.....
1. This Week's Jumpstart
2. Champion Within Article
3. Seeds of Greatness
4. Winner's Edge Coaching Tips
5. Featured Product of the Week
6. More Information
1. This Week's Jumpstart
While persistence is the determination to strive to achieve
your ultimate goal, there is another virtue of equally great
value. Persistence keeps us moving inside ourselves to see
the purpose behind the purpose, but patience is the wisdom
behind persistence.
Patience cautions us to focus our efforts on what we can
change while accepting what we cannot. When external
circumstance rains on our parade, patience is our umbrella.
Rather than blaming what we cannot control, patience is the
wisdom behind persistence.
It is when a goal is distant and difficult to reach that
patience is an ally. Time changes everything, but with
patience you can keep your desires relatively constant. If
you can just hang on long enough, time will finally create
the conditions in which you can succeed.
So This Week Practice Patience in Your Persistence!
-- Denis Waitley
2. The Champion Within
Article
Communicating with Your Middle and High School Age Child by Denis Waitley
First you listen, then you talk. The parent who takes the
role of listener is in complete control. It's important to
take the time to listen to your children. Don't say "in just
a minute" or "not right now." Make it clear that you are
listening and trying to understand your child's point of
view.
Learning to listen better can help transform your
relationship with your child by making him or her feel
appreciated, by increasing trust, and by helping to solve
problems more quickly. If you're going to give your
adolescent or teen your full attention, you're going to need
to become a good listener.
And to become a better listener, you're going to need to
reduce or eliminate both physical and psychological
barriers. Physically, you're going to want to minimize
distractions so you can pay attention. You might turn off
the TV or the radio, or put away your magazine. Take a deep
breath (this will prevent you from interrupting and provide
your brain with invigorating oxygen), and maintain eye
contact as you consciously decide to listen.
You probably think you're a pretty good conversationalist,
and you're probably right. But take a moment to ask yourself
if you talk to your teen using open-ended versus dead-ended
questions. The latter require just a "yes" or "no" answer.
That's economical but not very enlightening.
Which is more typical of your conversations?
You: "Did you have a good day at school?"
Kid: "It was O.K."
That's the end of the conversation because the answer is too
complex and to a child who hears it every day, it sounds
automatic. So you get an automatic, routine answer.
-- or --
You: "You look like you survived the tryouts for the soccer
team."
Let's say he or she responds by saying he didn't make the
team and is disappointed. You could follow up by responding:
"That must be tough playing under the coach's scrutiny like
that. Were you nervous?"
"Do you agree with the coach's decision?"
"Will you try out again next year?"
"If you and I play a lot this year would that help you for
next year?"
"Hmmm. Sounds as if you're disappointed but determined to
work to improve. Is that right?"
None of these responses would have likely followed if you
just asked the dead-ended question, "Was school O.K. today?"
and you would have missed an opportunity to have a more
in-depth exchange. Remember, a real conversation gets two
people involved, not just going through the motions.
Three issues to consider:
Timing: Teens don't want to be ignored or intruded upon so
try giving them some time and distance when they come home
from school. The idea is not to ignore school but try
greeting them with a statement rather than a question. "You
look like you survived the tryouts for the soccer team," not
"How were tryouts for the soccer team?" Middle and high
school is a lot about privacy so think of it as a verbal hug
in the form of a statement.
Tone: Kids will often hear judgment when none is intended. A
simple statement like, "You're awfully quiet today," can be
taken as accusatory or empathic, and can cause your child to
become unresponsive to avoid criticism. Try to make your
statements specific and non-judgmental. "That must be tough
playing under the coach's scrutiny like that."
Topic: Kids are more likely to respond to questions that
focus on what matters to them. "If you and I play a lot this
year would that help you for next year?" Take the time and
make the effort to have your teen believe he or she has your
full attention and is really being heard. You'll likely find
that in return he or she is more willing to listen to you.
Practice the skill of listening with your teen and watch
your relationship with them begin to transform!
-- Denis Waitley
This article was excerpted from Dr. Denis Waitley and
Dr. Maryann Rosenthal's newest release, The Seeds of
Greatness - The Value-based, Family Enrichment System for
the 21st Century - to order or to learn more go to
http://parenting.yoursuccessstore.com or call 877-929-0439.
Denis Waitley has studied,
counseled and trained leaders in virtually every field
including Apollo astronauts, Olympic gold medalists, Super
Bowl champions, returning POW's, heads of state and Fortune
500 top executives.
Denis is recognized as a world class speaker and author and
has traveled the globe sharing success ideas and strategies
to thousands of companies the past 25 years. To book Dr.
Waitley to speak for your company or to be part of your
upcoming Regional or National Convention send an email to
speaker@deniswaitley.com or call 877-929-0439 and ask
for Hilary.
3. Seeds of Greatness by
Denis Waitley
(Excerpted from Denis Waitley's 365-Day Coaching Calendar,
part of The Seeds of Greatness - The Value-Based Family
Enrichment Program for 21st Century Leaders!)
February 16: As you go
through a rough period with one of your kids, take a look at
his or her siblings. One family member's problems have a way
of affecting all of you. Today: Check each child's
relationship with brothers or sisters.
March 25: Keep tabs on where your kids are and what they're
doing. It's not a democracy and it shouldn't be. Today:
Become more aware of you children's away-from-home
activities.
June 27: Stress to you children the importance of keeping
their word. Tell them not to make promises that they don't
have every intention of keeping. Today: Teach that mutual
trust is more valuable than money.
July 17: Call your young child in the middle of your workday
just to say, "I'm thinking of you!" Today: Make the call and
feel the benefits.
November 17: Teach your child the difference between the
words "content" and "complacent." "Content means being happy
with what you have, and "complacent" means being satisfied
with what you have or what you are -- and not wishing to
improve. Today: Be happy and motivated for improvement.
December 25: Encourage your children to do something nice
for someone who will never find out. It's no secret what a
good feeling it will bring. Today: Give a gift or your time
to someone in need.
To learn more about Dr. Denis Waitley and Dr. Maryann
Rosenthal's newest release, The Seeds of Greatness - The
Value-based, Family Enrichment System for the 21st Century
and special pricing for the first 200 and free shipping go
to
http://parenting.yoursuccessstore.com or call 877-929-0439.
4. The
Winner's Edge Coaching Tips
Well, this is another week we'll "mix it up" a little. I'm
always on the lookout great information that will help you
build or inspire you in the life you desire to have, and I
came across something the other day that was priceless. And
since this edition of the ezine has a parent/children theme
to it, I thought it would be the perfect ezine to share
this. So thanks to my friend and colleague, Chris Widener,
for providing this. -- DW
"No, that's what God gave you two arms for: To carry me!" --
My five-year-old daughter (Chris Widener)
Chris' Commentary:
Okay, the conversation before this: I was walking a short
distance with my five-year-old daughter and my six-year-old
daughter. The five year old was dragging behind and
complaining that she was tired. She said, "Dad, will you
carry me?" I replied, "Nope, that's what God gave you two
legs for: So you can walk." Then came her amazingly quick
retort: "No, that's what God gave you two arms for: To carry
me!" The lessons you learn from little ones!
Action Point: What did God give you your arms for today?
Take some time to be sure to build something beautiful or
carry someone along or defend someone weak. Wave hello, lift
something up that needs to be lifted or give someone a hug.
Use your arms to make yourself successful today. Use your
arms to help someone else. That's what God gave them to you
for!
5. Featured Product of the Week -
Seeds of Greatness - The Value-based, Family Enrichment System for the 21st Century
Seeds of
Greatness
The Value-Based
Family Enrichment Program
for 21st Century Leaders by Dr. Denis Waitley
and Dr. Maryann Rosenthal
The instruction
manual that should have been
delivered with each child.
|
 |
10 Core Roots and Wings
Tips for Younger Kids,
Teens,
Blended Families
Achievement Lifeguide
Perpetual Coaching Calendar
Free Shipping*
|
For all
the details and to order -
http://www.deniswaitley.com
or call 877-929-0439 |
6. More Information
Ezine Archives - To review previous issues of Denis Waitley's Ezine,
please go to: Ezine Archives
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